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One Side: One Friend's Perspective

At times she films me while I’m eating. I’ll see myself on her social media – it feels like a sudden shock.

My best friend of a decade, she, calls herself the “creativity monarch”. It can be amusing for a bit, but it strains our relationship.

She is an extrovert, there's a constant urge the need to document everything constantly. When we eat out, her motto is, “The phone eats first,” and takes photos with bright lighting, which induces embarrassment. I don’t like it when strangers see her posing or filming – I get secondhand embarrassment. It also frustrates me because the food gets cold.

She's not quite an influencer yet, but Marielle is aspiring to become one. She creates video blogs about living in our city, a day in her life, and her work as a stylist. Her content is good, credit where it's due, but I prefer not to be involved. Sometimes she films me while I’m eating, or just accompanying her. Later, I appear on her feed afterwards, and it comes like a jumpscare: I might be no makeup on, an awkward face or be captured mid-bite. It’s uncomfortable.

She also expects me to record her at inopportune moments. Often I'm in conversation to someone else, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. I feel like our friendship has transformed into me being her unpaid videographer. She could easily hire someone if she wanted professional shots. Upon mentioning my unease about this arrangement, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to several brand events, which were appreciated, but that doesn't compensate for all the energy I invest helping her make content.

I’m grateful that Marielle has supported me with my design career, but I resist our friendship to become just a ledger of favours. I don’t feel she's insincere or dishonest, but sometimes I feel that if recording starts, we will start performing in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

Her directive is, “OK, look happy!” and film me laughing with another. It’s so silly. It's crucial her to understand that our 10-year friendship still has limits. I love spending time with her, but I also want to experience it without being recorded, altered, or posted for an audience. I’m not a accessory for her Instagram.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I want my friend to see that the creations we make together can get us an opportunity.

I love shooting content. It’s not just a pastime; it's integral to who I am. Producing content and sharing my life online enables me to express myself and engage with people in novel forms.

I don’t see myself as a full influencer yet, but it’s smart to generate income from your interests. I admire people on TikTok who pull off that aesthetic of informal, self-made film-making.

Content creation is my interpretation of living actively: observing the details, sharing them with an viewership that appreciates the art behind it. It's never my aim to make my friend uneasy. Bringing her to professional gatherings was my way of offering access, providing her a opportunity to experience behind-the-scenes moments that could benefit her career in design too. That isn't leverage, it’s just being pragmatic.

I would take her to these events even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see the benefits the content we make together can achieve: a foot in the door. I understand not everyone enjoys being filmed, but sometimes spontaneity is what makes content genuine. Appearing on video from time to time is part and parcel of being my friend. I'd remove anything she requested, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don’t expect anybody to be my personal filmmaker, but companions support one another in small ways. My assumption was recording a clip now and then would be fun for her. Creativity thrives in partnership, and having my friend around makes endeavors energetic and enjoyable. I don't compel her to take part in anything, and I’d never deliberately humiliate her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I document our shared experiences.

I value Beth’s friendship profoundly and want to avoid content creation to drive a wedge between us. I am ready to find middle ground: like requesting permission before filming, and steering clear of shots that might make her self-conscious.

This isn’t about power, it's regarding expressing my perspective while still considering hers. Clearly making content is not a substitute for genuine friendship: it's merely part of how I live my life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Is it right for her to stop recording herself and Beth when they are socializing?

There’s nothing more uncomfortable than having a companion point a camera at you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s passion, but I don’t make friends come to my workplace. Maybe she can find influencer friends to collaborate with. With the uncertain future of AI, personal relationships are the only thing we have – cherish them!
A respondent, 25

If you’re doing something as a career, you can’t ask your friends for help repeatedly, even if they have helped previously. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn't imply all those around her is content. She must to honor her friend's personal space.
Ankit, 26

Marielle might love making content and displaying her life publicly, but it isn't for everyone. It was kind she has helped Beth’s career, but she must to listen to what Beth wants.
Emma, 27

It sounds like you value each other, so hold on to that and make sure it’s the priority in your relationship. Create some real experiences, where true emotions are stored, not online archives. In fact, public figures who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more secrecy than it seems.
One opinion, 53

She seems to be not fully engaged nor authentic when they're together – she’s working. Each appears confused as to what’s reasonable. The answer lies not in trying to alter one another, but in each setting defined limits around what is comfortable to them and determining if there is an acceptable compromise.
Barbara, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

In an online poll: has she been over-exposing their friendship?